The dawn of a new day

I once heard it said that the US will leave Iraq when hell freezes over. As I stepped out of my door on January 1st I almost slipped on the thin coat of ice. Well lets hear it for prophecy. The SOFA is in place and now the troops wonder how much has changed. The more I read the less I understand. Who can do what to whom and how many cookies you have to pay for it is a mystery to us. I am sure that as somewhere in the echelons above reason there is a JAG officer who understands what is going on in this country. I am also confident that he is about to rotate home without replacement.
I can see the security situation here is better. We haven’t taken effective fire yet, all our guys have all their bit and pieces. This is better than a year ago, and much better than two years ago. But the big question is still out there, can the Iraqis hold it together?
How do you tell the difference between nationalism and radical Islam? Will they let us leave gently or will every yahoo want to claim that they drove us out? So many questions. The answer came to me like the answers of all my big question, in the latrine. In the freezing cold, after using numb fingers to tuck and button my self back together, I turn and try to leave. Wearing 40 pounds body armor on a plastic floor I move slowly, as I re attach my rifle. The door opens and I try to exit.
When they clean the porta johns here they simply spray them with a disinfectant suck out the shit. This leaves a thin film of water that evaporates quickly, unless it is in the high twenties with a blowing wind. The floor is covered in a thin sheet of ice. I pry open the door and try to exit. My shoulder armor makes my thin frame too thick for the door. I am trapped, without traction in the door of an iced over shit house. If I was taking fire this would be bad, as it is it is just a little funny.
Like the US Army if given some time to take it slow, turn sidewise and get out I will get out of this shit house without incident. If they hurry me, I am likely just to run out the door, get caught and pull the whole thing down on top of me. Then I would be trapped in a confined space and forced to break things.
I would also be blue and stink like shit. I could make it more clear, but then I would end up in the same office as that JAG officer when he rotates home.