Thursday, December 4, 2008

odor

The sense of smell is different from the other senses. At least that is according to a barely remembered psychology class in my long ago days at junior college. The sense of smell is not processed by the analytical part of the brain but goes directly to the emotional reaction center. Flashbacks are more often caused by smells than sounds and sights, I learned that at the VA. This being the case I am seriously screwed. I live in a building with over a hundred men. They burn plastic every day here and have open gray water percolation ponds. Most of the latrines are porta johns, and maintained by spraying water inside. I will not even talk about the smells you get outside our little piece of home here at COB Allahlone.
The bad smells one can accept. Wandering through the junior enlisted section of the barracks can make a guy thankful his smokes local cigarettes that kill the olfactory organs. The bouquet of aromas from young men is… distinctive.
Then there is the other issue, the showers are a short walk away, this means that not everyone showers every day. It also means you have to transport your shower supplies to and from the shower trailer. Have you ever tried to keep your soap in one of those soap containers? They leak all over your tooth brush, and never quite dry out. It is one of those little annoying things that can drive man to distraction, like having a piece of meat stuck in your teeth and no dental floss.
There is a solution, shower gel. It comes in resealable bottles, fits nicely in the shower bag, along with flip flops an change of clothes, shaving kit and towel. It is also manufactured by the smartest marketers on earth. These people have based an entire product line on the concept that girls like it when boys don’t smell like sweaty socks. Imagine the simplicity of this! It is beautiful, and AXE and all their competitors make a fortune off selling what is essentially perfume for men. I am all for not stinking like a gym. But there are limits. The guys use ‘body spray’ like air freshener. What this means is that your nose can be assaulted by the smell of a sweat soaked uniform that has been worn for three days one second, and male perfume the next.
It is enough to drive the poor organ into fits. There is a silver lining to this. The chances of me ever having to experience the simultaneous odors of sweat, mildew, axe, and four different car or room air fresheners out side of a military barracks or a high school locker room is minimal. I have come to accept it in the military, and the only way I would go into a high school locker room is at gunpoint. So I hope the issue to be moot.
As for that wonderful shock to the senses of a port-a-john? I was a bachelor for way to long for that to effect me.

1 comment:

bigD said...

Holy olfactory nerve, Batman! That story was downright odoriferous. I cannot imagine that many smelly soldiers cooped up in one place. Why is it that people don't get that you can't cover up body odor with things like Axe? Some people like the smell of all that funk...not me! It seems like all soldiers in Iraq talk about the smells!