Bits fall off

There is an attitude I developed in riding motorcycles, ‘bits fall off’. The important thing is how you handle things falling off. I have had visors, bit of fairing, spare helmets, and even my luggage fall off on the road. Any piece of equipment subjected to long use over the road will have things break. The military takes this to an extreme. Only one of our vehicles was designed to for the role that we are using it for. The others are over weight, over age and over used, much like some of the crew members.
To compensate we take extra measures to catch problems before they start. At least an hour before each mission is spent inspecting the vehicles and our mechanics work every day to keep up with the stuff we break. Still thing stop working. Then there are things that are entirely operator error. In my case it was my big fat ass.
Rolling down our standard road, the wind chill dropping the temperature well below freezing I am huddled down in my turret behind the armored glass. Occasionally I pop up like a giant prairie dog to do a quick complete scan. I left my warmest gloves at home because I was in a bit of a hurry. My mistake that I pay for with cold hands and fingers. We had two additional passengers for this trip. I will call them Mechanic and Medic, mostly because that is what they were.
Some early excitement had us on edge a little so I was scanning back and forth using my little joy stick. Someone pops a parachute flare off in the distance. I swing the turret over to get a better view. Now my seat hangs inside the hull of the hummer. It is essentially two straps with a piece of padded wood. This was nit designed to be used on this vehicle. I spin to look over the back deck, and pop my head up. Then reach down to unfuck the cord leading to my headset.
I report the Distance, Direction and Description of what I see to SSG Lifeguard. He tries to report it up to SSG Moto. No luck, radio is not working. I try to send the report up directly, no luck. Mechanic tries, again no luck. Mighty Mouse tries, and again no luck. We now commence trouble shooting the radio, which is mounted between the front seats. Life guard and mechanic check the boxes our head set hook into. Then the setting on them. Then they go to the radio, checking to make sure its setting are right. Everything fine so far. Life guard begins to hammer away at his battle text messenger while mechanic looks for his flash light.
The vehicle has not stopped or slowed down, Might Mouse continues to roll like nothing is happening. I look down, the only problem could be is the connection between the radio and the antenna. The radio sends the signal to an amplifier and the amp sends it to the antenna mount. I look back to ensure both antennas are still there. Yep still there.
What we need to do is take the antenna wire and plug it directly to the radio. The wire is not long enough to reach the radio because it is tied up so we have less loose wire to get tangled up in. After a brief conversation we come up with a plan.
I will remind my gentle reader that all this was done on bumpy Iraqi roads, at night. I stand up on the seat, wedging myself against my hatch and my gun, while pointing over the right front side. Mechanic slides out of the seat behind the driver and all the way up to the radio. With one hand Lifeguard and I hold flash lights. Mechanic has to crawl up over the radio mount with a Gerber multi tool and snap the zip tie holding the extra wire. Then he has to pull it down and plug it into the front of the radio. Life guard then has to adjust the radio to work in the new configuration. Think of it as installing a stereo system, in the dark during a small earth quake.
Then mechanic slides back and belts in, and Lifeguard checks the radio. It works. Like I said bits fall off, the secret is not to get excited, trouble shoot the problem and fix it and Charlie Mike or Continue Mission. That three of us have been fighting military radios for years, gave us a bit of an edge.
Now I have to get the new antenna cables, and install them, because our Battalion commo hasn’t figured out how to make the time to do their own job.
The reason for the failure, my fat ass hit the connector as I swiveled to look over the back deck.
Especially in the military…. Bits Fall Off.